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  • Jason Cave

Why You Shouldn't Live With Someone Before You're Married

Before anyone get's on to me for preaching to you I want it to be known this is a 100% secular argument and goes for anyone who might want to get married someday regardlessr of religious beliefs. For this article I am making a basic assumption that most people, and in particular women, want to get married.


First I want to squash the main argument used for living together which is, "I just need to know their living patterns before I make that kind of commitment." Really? Because our grandparents never lived before they got married but they were the last generation that when they got married it was almost guaranteed they were going to stay together. And today, how many couples do you know that have been dating 6 months to a year and decided to move in together and then break up afterwards because they couldn't coexist. I can'think of any in my personal life. Does that mean they they all just meshed perfectly together and didn't have any habits that annoyed the other person, unlikely. Mostly likely they changed and adapted to living with this other person, and the same thing would happen if you waited until you were married to live together.


We all know that couple who has been together for ten years or so and you always act like they're a married but they're not. And you would forget that they weren't married except the girlfriend is always complaining that he hasn't asked her yet. So why hasn't he? Well to be blunt it comes down to the old saying "why by the cow when you can get the milk for free." Why would he ask her to get married when he's already getting all the benefits without the true commitment. If one day he just decides he wants to leave he doesn't have to worry about losing half his stuff. It's an out and I believe that if they were not living together he would have asked her a long time ago.


The final reason for not living together is because you'll more likely have a happier marriage. Statistics show that couples who wait to live together until after they're married have longer happier marriages that are less likely to get divorced. I have theory of why this is. Marrige is supposed to be new phase of ones life, with new challenges and excitements, and living together is apart of that. But if you have been living together for five years there is no new excitement or adventure which could lead to disappointment in marriage.


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